
The history of civilization is the history of beer. In every era and area untouched by civilization, there has been no beer; conversely, virtually everywhere civilization has struck, beer has arrived with it. Civilization – that is to say, hierarchical social structures and consequent relationships of competition, unbridled technological
development, and universal alienation – seems to be inextricably linked to alcohol.Our sages, who look back and ahead through time to see beyond the limits of such
pernicious culture, tell a parable about our past to explain this link:Most anthropologists regard the beginnings of agriculture as the inception of civilization. It was this first act of control over the land that brought human beings
to think of themselves as distinct from nature, that forced them to become sedentary and possessive, that led to the eventual development of private property
and capitalism. But why would hunter/gatherers, whose environment already provided them with all the food they needed, lock themselves in place and give up the nomadic foraging existence they had practiced since the beginning of time for something they already had? It seems more likely – and here, there are anthropologists who agree – that the first ones to domesticate themselves did so in order to brew beer.This drastic reorganization for the sake of intoxication must have shaken tribal structure and lifeways to the root. Where these “primitive” peoples had once lived in a relaxed and attentive relationship to the providing earth – a relationship that afforded them both personal autonomy and supportive community as well as a great deal of leisure time to spend in admiration of the enchanted world around them – they now alternated periods of slavish hard labor with periods of drunken incompetence and detachment. It’s not hard to imagine that this situation hastened,if not necessitated, the rise to power of masters, overseers who saw to it that the toilsome tasks of fixed living were carried out by the frequently inebriated and incapable tribespeople. Without these chiefs and the primitive judicial systems they instituted, it must have seemed that life itself would be impossible: and thus, under the foul auspices of alcoholism, the embryonic State was conceived. Such a pathetic way of life could not have been appealing to the peoples who neighbored the aboriginal alcoholic agriculturists; but as every historian knows,the spread of civilization was anything but voluntary. Lacking the manners and gentleness of their former companions in the wild, these savages, in their drunken
excesses and infringements, must have provoked a series of wars – wars which, sadly,
the lushes were able to win, owing to the military efficiency of their autocratic armies and the steady supply of food their subjugated farmlands provided. Even these advantages would not have been enough, if the brutes hadn’t had a secret weapon in their possession: alcohol itself. Adversaries who would otherwise have held their own on the field of battle indefinitely fell before the cultural onslaught of drunken debauchery and addiction, when trade – one of the inventions of the agriculturists, who also became the first misers, the first merchants – brought this poison into their midst. A pattern of conflict, addiction, defeat, and assimilationwas set in motion, one which can be traced throughout history from the cradle of civilization through the Roman wars for Empire to the holocaust perpetrated upon the natives of the New World by the murderous European colonists.But this is just a story, speculation. Let’s consult the history books (reading between the lines where we must, as these books come down to us from yesteryear’s conquering killers and their obedient slaves … that is, historians!) to see if it lines up with the evidence. We’ll start in the early years of agriculture, when the first tribes settled down – in the fertile lands around rivers, where wheat and barley were easy to grow and ferment in mass quantities.
the domestication of man – b y alcoholEnkidu, a shaggy, unkempt, almost bestial primitive man, who ate grass and could milk wild animals, wanted to test his strength against Gilgamesh, the god-king. Gilgamesh sent a prostitute to Enkidu to learn of his strengths and weaknesses. Enkidu enjoyed a week with her during which she taught him of civilization. Enkidu knew not what bread was, nor had he learned
to drink beer. She spoke unto Enkidu: “Eat the bread now, it belongs to life. Drink also beer, as it is the custom of the land.” Enkidu drank seven cups of beer and his heart soared. In this condition he washed himself and became a civilized being.
– The first written narrative of civilization, the Epic of Gilgamesh written in 3000 bc, describes
the domestication of Enkidu the Primitive by means of beer.The oldest authenticated records of brewing were fashioned over 6000 years ago in Sumer, the oldest of human civilizations. Sumer also had the first known stateorganized religion, and the official “divine drink” of this religion was beer brewed by priestesses of Ninkasi, the Sumerian goddess of alcohol. The hymns of Ninkasi were brewing instructions! The first collection of laws, the Code of Hammurabi of Babylon, decreed a daily beer ration in direct proportion to social status: beer consumption wen hand-in-hand with hierarchy. For example, workers received two liters while besotted priests and kings got five. [For an interesting thought experiment, ask yourself how much alcohol – and of what grade – you get now,and what that says about your position in society.] Historians pondering the primacy of alcohol in these ancient lawbooks have even conjectured that the original function of hierarchy was to permit some men to hoard mass amounts of alcohol while ensuring that a sufficient labor force – pacified by their meager alcohol rations to discourage revolt or escape – was always at hand to keep farming and brewing. Kings used golden drinking straws to sip from giant containers of beer, a tradition that has been preserved in plastic throughout the Western world. The pivotal role of alcohol in this first hierarchy is easy to recognize, even from a cursory reading of these records: as in every authoritarian regime, “justice” was a cardinal concern, and the punishment decreed for all who violated any of the laws governing beer was death by drowning.Though it was yet newly-invented, beer influenced every single facet of emerging human civilization. Before the invention of money, beer was used as the standard item of barter – a money before money! In Ancient Egypt, a keg of beer was the
only proper gift to offer to the Pharaoh when proposing marriage to his daughter,and kegs of beer were sacrificed to the gods when the Nile overflowed. As civilization spread, so did beer. Even in regions as remote as Finland, beer played a crucial role from the moment civilization struck: the Kalevala, the ancient Finnish epic poem, had twice as many verses devoted to beer than to the creation of the earth.Brewing could be found wherever civilization was, from the rudimentary villages of German barbarians to the god-emperors of ancient China. Only those human beings that still lived in harmony with wilderness, such as the indigenous peoples
of North America and some sectors of Africa, remained alcohol-free – for a time.The “classical civilizations” of Greece and Rome were as soaked in alcohol as they were in blood – the entire ancient world was lost in a collective hangover. This must have helped the nobles and philosophers to gloss over the fact that their“enlightened democracy” was based on the subjection of women and masses of slaves.The greatest work of “classical” literature, the Symposium, details a drinking party starring Socrates, whose claimto-fame as a philosopher was augmented by his inhumanly high tolerance for alcohol. Studying his glorifications of the abstract over the real – provided these weren’t falsely attributed to him by his mendacious pupil, Plato – one can still catch a whiff of the sour breath of a drunk.